New Years Resolutions 2009

Here's my list of New Years Resolutions. I figure that if I write them down in the world wide web, the few of you who read my blog can occasionally ask me if I'm sticking to them or not.

1- Lose the weight. I have no excuse. After this baby the weight must come off. I have an entire wardrobe of work clothes that I cannot replace and I must fit into before I return back to work. Therefore, when any of you see me scarfing down a burger or a hundred pastelitos, please hit or me something.

2- Organize my utility closet. At this time, I have all my Christmas stuff neatly packed away in bins sitting on my living room floor because my tiny utility closet is stuffed to the bring with camping gear. Gear that I will never use ever again because I hated camping. Which reminds me, does anyone want my camping gear. Come and get if you want.

3- Find out the exact reason why when men get into a fight, the words "Punk Ass" must be thrown around repeatedly. I was on my way to pick up Sofia from pre-school and I saw a fight between two teenage boys and the word "Punk Ass" must have been said about 10 times in 30 seconds by each kids

Teen 1: You're a punk ass. I kick you punk ass.

Teen 2: Shut the fuck up, you punk ass.

Teen 1: I'm no punk ass. You're the punk ass. Come over here and fight. I'll kick your punk ass.

Teen 2: Punk Ass!!

Ok...why don't they just fight already? I got so bored I left.

4- Learn to cook. My family lives off ground beef. Well, just Jose because Sofia lives off Mac n' cheese and hot dogs. I know this cannot be good for them. I want to learn to have a signature dish and use such ingredients as lemon grass or thyme. So when people come over and say, "Yum, is that lemon grass I taste?" I could say "Yes. It was so easy to make too."

5- Move Sofia into her own bed. Yeah, it really is not going to be restful for any of us if I have to share a room with Sofia and Baby Logan.

6- Pay off the stupid Bowflex (which my husband never uses except to hang up his clothes), the furniture and my credit card. Luckily, we don't owe much on any of those, but it kills me that I have a balance.

7- Fix my camera. Baby Logan will not have any memories of his first year of life, unless I get that done. He will be like me. Typical 2nd child, except that my mom has no remorse that she never took any pictures of me. When I ask her why there are like 15 albums dedicated to my brothers every milestone and not mine. She looks at me and says "I was busy." Uhmm...that doesn't make me feel any better. Kind of like when I asked her if she smoked and drank while pregnant with me and said "Of course! It was the 70's." Gee... that explains a lot!

8- Adopt a cat. Yes, I know that I'm crazy for taking on yet another pet on top of two children and a lazy husband, but I really, really, really want a cat. RIP Susie. I miss you!!

9- Try to get Bravo to do a Real Housewives of Hialeah. Don't you think that would be hilarious? Seriously, will it be any wackier than those OC Housewives? I have several friends who would be perfect candidates.

10- Live healthy and love much. I have a lot to grateful for and in the end you have remember that everything is a blessing.

Happy New Year.

10-

Waste of time!

Don't you hate it when people waste your time? It really tends to ruin my day for the long haul.

So, I take Sofia to her pedi's office to get her second dose of the flu vaccine. Just for any first time moms out there, if your child is under the age of 6 (I think???) and it's the first time they have ever received the flu shot, they need to get two doses, 30 days apart. Anyways, so I go in to the ped's office and the waiting room is jammed. About 30 minutes later they start calling people in. I'm the last person to be called in after waiting for about an hour now and I'm told that they can't give Sofia the flu vaccine because she has a cold. Ok, so she does have a runny nose, but she has not ran a fever at all since she started with this bug on Thursday (Oh...by the way...Merry Christmas, Sofia! Santa brought you a virus!). So after waiting in the lobby for over an hour and then not have your objective accomplished, I left a little pissed. I know it's not there fault and that they are only following guidelines, but I felt like I got jipped!

I hate time wasters!!

Merry Stinkin' Christmas

I know I have a lot to be grateful about. My family is healthy. The baby is doing awesome and due in a month and a half. We got food in our bellies and jobs for the moment at least. However, I am such a Grinch lately.

Maybe it's the hormones. Let's blame the hormones. But seriously speaking, I know my hormones can only be set off by something. They are the reaction to someone else's action. Some people might disagree with that theory, but I know that if my day is pleasant and everything goes well, then I have a nice day. But if ...let's say...I get home after a particularly abusive day at work and my dear husband hasn't taken out the garbage and it is piling up on the counter , like it has been for the past two days. And he left his shoes, socks and pants on the couch and littered around the house. And then I go to the kitchen and find spilled OJ and dirty forks all over the counter. And when I ask him why he hasn't bothered to do do a damn thing to help me, his response is "stop nagging me", then those darn hormones kick in and I become a total bitch.

Yes. Let's blame the hormones.

That has nothing to with Christmas, though. That could be any day of the year.

Anyways...Merry Christmas.

I hope your kitchens are clean and your laundry is folded by little elves.

Update on Random Thought #3

Ok. I found out why the teachers asked me to bring an entire container of salt for their cooking project last Friday. Apparently, she asked each students parents to bring an ingredient from a chocolate chip cookie recipe so that they whole class can participate.

Makes sense!!

Ok, this weeks request is to bring a Santa hat and red shirt for their Christmas program on Thursday. How cute is that!!!

Disney Trip 2008 Re-Cap

Ok. I still don't have Disney pics. My SIL did send me a link to view on her Snapfish account, but I have not had the chance to download any of them to my computer. So...use your imaginations for the moment.

Day 1
So we decided to take 2 cars instead of renting a big van for the entire family. In our car it was myself, Jose, Sofia, Tito and Ela. Yes, we had all the kids. In the other car, it was my Ana, Rosendo, Jennifer and Lydia (my MIL). The night before, Jose and I downloaded a bunch of cartoons and TV shows on our Ipods and charged the PSP for the kids. It worked like a charm...until the damn batteries ran out on all three devices AT THE SAME TIME!! What are the chances of that happening? So from Port St. Lucie all the way to Orlando it kind of went like this:

Me: "Did we pack the Ipod charger?"

Me: "STOP FIGHTING!"

Me: "But we just went potty 30 minutes ago. If Sprite make you go, then you should have ordered a Coke?"

Me: "No..I'm the boss. You are just a little girl and cannot tell me what to do."

Me to Jose: "I don't think this was a good idea"

Me: "Do not wipe your noses on each other!"

Me: "Stop threatening each other with boogers. Ewww....here's a wipey!"

Me: "Are we there yet, Jose? These kids are driving me crazy!"

Ok, so we get to our hotel. It's actually a really pretty townhouse with 4 rooms and settle in for a bit. We then head over to the Gaylord Palms to see the "ICE" exhibit. It's 9 freaking degrees in there!! They give you these parkas for you to put on, but they really don't help. I mean, I can't believe there are people currently living in 9 degree weather. I couldn't even take a 20 minute exhibit. I am sooo a Florida girl.

Anyways, this is where my beautiful camera perished. It slipped off my shoulder and crashed into the floor. The casing on my lens broke and goodbye pictures!! I was so pissed off at myself that I really didn't give myself too much a chance to enjoy the exhibit and between Sofia complaining that her cheeks hurt and my husband pronouncing he felt the onslaught on pneumonia settling in (what a baby!), we left rather quickly. By the way...to get in the exhibit it cost $24, plus $10 parking. Include the $300 or more fee to fix my camera and I'm going to say that ICE sucked!!!

Ate at Denny's for dinner and went to sleep.

Day 2

The Magic Kingdom. Uhmm...read my earlier post to find out what I really think about Disney, but here is my "magical" day in a nutshell.

Got to the Magic Kingdom and the place was packed!!! Once again...I thought the economy was doing really bad. Apparently, I need to invest in Disney stock or something. Anyways, they are filming the Disney Christmas Parade right at the entrance of Main Street. Floats and cheerleaders are streaming and I heard a rumor that Hannah Montana was going to be performing. Like I care!! Actually, I always thought this parade was live. Goes to show that Disney stages everything. BASTARDS!!

The park is packed and the lines are long as shit. Immediately, we get fast passes to Space Mountain..well everyone except me and the kids.... and get in line to ride Buzz Lightyear. As we wait an eternal 50 minutes, we see Joey Fatone (aka former N'Syncer) get rushed to the front of the line. How fair is that? He didn't even win Dancing with Stars? He's actually much taller in real life and not fat at all. So from now on, I must refrain from calling him Joey Fat-One.

Anyways, everyone rides Space Mountain and leave me with the kids. Immediately, when every adult is out of sight, they start asking to go potty. Great! Comedy ensues in the bathroom because I have to push a double stroller and 3 kids into a handicap stall. It went something like this:

Me: "Uhmm...Tito do you want us to look away or something while you do your thing?"

Me: "Sofia. Please stop playing with the toilet paper. You are not a mummy. Where did you learn that anyways?

Me: Ela, stop talking and pee.

Me: Ok..now everyone turn around and don't look at me as I pee. I said turn around. Stop it. Why are you all laughing at me. Oh...never mind. I'll pee later."

Move on Fantasy Land (aka: Stroller City). The kids all ride Dumbo, The Snow White Ride and It's a Small World. I sit out Dumbo and It's a Small World because the waits are 40 minutes. My poor feet hurt so bad at this point and my belly felt so hard. As I sit rubbing my belly, a lady asks if I'm due before Christmas. She was sincerely shocked when I told her I had two more months to go. She asked if I was carrying twins. How lovely.

It's almost 6pm and desperately want to go home. Ela hit Sofia on the nose while climbing into the stroller and half the park came to a standstill as Sofia's scream managed to pierce the crowds. We bought her ice cream and all is well.

We did the Haunted Mansion, Splash Mountain (minus me and the kids) and stood in line for 30 minutes for the 8pm parade. After that, Jose, Sofia, Lydia and I called it a night and went back to the townhouse. The rest of the crew decided to stay for the fireworks show. FINE BY ME!!

Day 3

Disney Hollywood Studios. Once again. The park is packed. We head to Tower of Terror where Sofia managed to squeak by on the height limit. I swear she got in by the skin of her teeth. Some nice lady gave us her Fast Passes and Jose, Sofia, Ana and Jennifer went in. I must admit that Sofia did come slightly traumatized from the TOT. They bought that overpriced picture at the end of the ride an Sofia looks like a deer caught in the headlights. I asked her if she wanted to go again and said "NO!" and quickly ran away from me. I'm a bad mommy!

Everyone else got on the Aerosmith ride and afterwards we caught the Beauty and Beast, Little Mermaid and Playhouse Disney Shows. I think the kids all loved them.

Day went by pretty fast, but we were unable to do the new Toy Story ride because the line was insane...over 70 minutes. So all the adults and Tito did Star Wars, while stayed with the girls and my MIL to rest. I'm soooo tired by this point.

We caught the Osborne Family Dancing Christmas Lights Special (No..not like Ozzy Osbourne, but some other family. Slightly disappointed that the Prince of Darkness didn't put his spin on Christmas with Disney ( I kept on imagining headless bats and pigeons decorating the trees, but alas...it was only angel and bells), but it was really pretty nonetheless. They also pumped snow from the top of the buildings and we caught really pretty video of Sofia dancing in the snow. She was so thrilled!!!

Ok...so end of day 3 and we blessedly get to go home again.

Day 4

Downtown Disney. Finally, our last day. I'm totally exhausted. The kids are exhausted and getting on each others nerves. By this time, they have invited and dis invited each other to their birthday parties like 40 times and have quickly dissolved and solved friendships about 70 times.

We go to the World of Disney and buy Sofia and overpriced Princess Crown. Ela gets a similar one, but I have to hear this all the way home:

Ela: My crown is prettier.

Sofia: No. Mine.

Ela: You're not my friend.

Sofia: You're not coming to my Cinderella party.

Ela: I don't care (starts crying)

Anyways, we have lunch at this new place called T-Rex. It's basically The Rainforest Cafe set in Prehistoric times. Guess what? The food sucks too in the Ice Age.

Ok...so trip ends after slightly awkward fight between my MIL and SIL. But all is resolved and we happily head home.

Kids fell asleep somewhere past Port St. Lucie and all went smoothly from there on. That was the best part of my entire trip.

Pictures coming soon.

Random Thoughts

Wasn't that a regular sketch on SNL at one time? You know, where they showed a picture of a cornfield or something and some narrator would say something like:

"Laughter is the greatest sound on earth. So are my farts".. or something like that.

ETA: I just googled it and it was called Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy and they have a website...how cool is that??

http://www.deepthoughtsbyjackhandey.com/

Anyways, I digress. I have nothing really important to say today. I do have to give you the follow up to my Disney Trip, but I'm waiting on pics from my SIL because my freaking camera broke. Yes, my freaking brand new camera!!!

Random Thought #1:

I now know where Sofia got the word freaking from. It's me. This morning I was helping her put on her clothes for school (it was picture day and she look uber cute...once again, if I had a freaking camera, I would show you). So, I had her socks in my hand and went to adjust the bow and misplaced the socks.

Me: "Where are the socks I just had in my hand?"

Frantic search around the room and badgering of poor dog Rita (Ultimate Sock Stealer) proved fruitless. As I open the drawer to find new pair of socks, I notice I had been sitting on them for most of the time (Blame my huge ass which can partially block the sun, why not a pair of socks??)

Me: Oh, there you are!! (Talking to socks..weird, I know)

Sofia: Yeah...stupid, freaking socks!!

Ok. I totally take blame for the freaking part, but I know I had nothing to do with the stupid part. She learned that in pre-school.

Random Thought #2

Why is it that in those old AMC movies, like those made between 1920-1970, whenever a pregnant woman went into labor, whoever was helping with the delivery, would ask for hot water, towels and a piece of string? Uhmm...are you going to fly fish the baby out of her vagina?

I should also google that, but I'm being lazy.

Random Thought #3

Sofia's pre-school teacher told me on Tuesday that they will be doing a cooking exercise on Friday and I was required to bring a container of salt. As usual, I don't question her, but I must admit that as I looked at the little Mortan Salt Girl this morning while waiting in line at Publix I thought about what kind of cooking project requires an entire container of salt. Do you think her teacher is just randomly telling parents things to bring off her grocery list?

Teacher: Yes, little Tommy needs to bring in some cream cheese.... fat free, please... for a cooking project we are doing on Friday. (Said to herself: Ha, Ha, Ha...suckers!)

Random Thought #4

Lastly, if the economy is doing so bad and everyone is losing their jobs, why the hell was half the population of the United States (and parts of Brazil and Argentina...damn school tours!) in Disney World!!!! People, there is a recession happening. Stay home. Watch TV. Knit something for goodness sake.

Ok...I'm out of random thoughts. I just got all huffy about Disney. I feel a rant coming on. Damn pictures better be in my inbox when I get home!!

I'm a Disney Hater!

We leave on Friday for Disney...UHG!!! I know I'm in the minority, but I totally, absolutely, positively, without a doubt HATE Disney World!!! Yes, I actually said this. I know this is practically like committing treason and I will probably be on the CIA hit list for this because it just might be considered un-American to say it. But I did.

Disney sucks!! I hate the lines. Why do people put themselves through that kind of torture. Two hours to ride Space Mountain?? Are you kidding me? That's the equivalent of going to the theater and watching a movie. Did I put that it perspective enough for you? Oh, and then Disney tries to be all smart and say something like "120 minutes", to make it sound like it's really not that long. It's minutes your waiting, not hours!!! Yeah right.

You know what I also hate? The stupid walk from the parking lot to the actual Magic Kingdom. You literally have to drag your entire family across a parking lot, on to a tram, walk up to the stupid train or boat, then walk to the ticket counter, wait God know how long and then pay $80 to basically wait in more lines. And don't get me started on the walk from hell back to your car after all day waiting in lines and forking over your monthly salary on food and souvenirs. That's an entirely different entry.

People this is not the happiest place on earth. It's the most expensive.

Also, the strollers!! Good God, they are everywhere!!! I have a daughter, I know the need for a stroller, but what is the point of taking a stroller if you have to park it to get in a line for 2 hours! Uhm, that means that my cranky, hot, sleepy child now has to be carried because you know my 3 year old does not have the patience to wait that freaking long in a line!! On the plus side...I love seeing the kid meltdowns. It's nice to know you are not alone.

Ok, so by now you must be asking me why the world are you going to Disney if you hate it so much? Well, it just so happens that my husband and daughter love this place (If you don't consider that irony, I know don't what to say. I thought married couples were supposed to be compatible?) So, as a good, loving wife last year I purchased annual passes to this horrid place as a Christmas present for my husband. You see, he never went as a child. The first time he ever went to Disney was at Grad Night as a teenager. He feels like he is making up for something by going. I, in a stupid but kind, move decided to fulfill this need in him. Well, I should have just given him a blow job or something, because now I'm miserable and he's happy....come to think about it...it's the same thing as a blow job!!

Anyways...Disney sucks!!