Despojo Time!!

It has been the week from hell!

First Logan gets this horrible cold. We take him to the doctor after a couple of days because he does not seem to be getting any better. Turns out his has bronchilitis, sinus infection & ear infection on left ear. He starts on antibiotics and breathing treatments and seems to be getting better.

In the meantime, my Dh throws out his back and is basically immobile. So here I am taking care of two men. No sleep. Up all night with a sick baby and my DH who needs helping walking to the bathroom. I still have to go to work (thank you to my fantastic babysitter!).

So Thursday, I feel horrible. I'm running a fever. I got chills, body ache...you name it. I promised I would chaperone Sofia's field trip on Friday, so I was so disappointed. Miraculously, some time during the night my fever broke and I woke up feeling like a new person. I decide to go on the field trip.

Friday, everyone was feeling so much better...me, DH and Logan.

Saturday, my throat is killing me!! I can barely swallow. We had scheduled a small birthday party for Sofia at Build a Bear with her cousins and I decide to go through with it. When we get back, Logan is running a fever and he breathing rapidly. He soo sleepy and doesn't want to get up. I give him some tylenol and he seems to be getting better, but his breathing starts concerning me and DH because he then starts making these weird grunting noises. We decide to take him to the doctors. They run some X-rays, he chest comes out clear (Thank God!) and the doctors says it's just a virus and we have to let it run its course. He had RSV a month ago and the doc. said that there is generally a 2 month shedding period on that virus and that his respiratory problems may be a result of that. Not much we can do, but wait it out.

Ok. So this morning I wake up and I basically can't speak (which I think DH loves!). I have major laryngitis (sp?) and I have this wickid dry cough. Oh...and so now Sofia has the same dry cough.

Yuck! I need a major despojo!

Supermodel! You better work!

Covergirl!!

Don't tell me you didn't jam to that RuPaul song back in the 90's....cause you be a liar!!

Anyways, went to shopping with Sofia and we were already wearing this Gap dress, when we came across these sunglasses in the store. I think she totally rocks them. What do you think?

(Sorry for the crappy pic. My camera has taken one too many falls to the floor to actually focus.)

Sofia's1stBallet Recital

Sofia had her first ballet recital on Saturday. It was really a lot of fun and a big eye opener for me. I realized two things on Saturday:

Sofia is extremely shy.
She is also stronger of spirit than I ever give her credit for.

All morning long she was running around the house in her leotard and tights. Dancing to Angelina Ballerina in background and practicing her bunny hops. The moment we walked into that banquet hall, she froze. She saw all these people and she immediately clung to me. I was totally preparing myself for a complete meltdown. I kept on telling my mother that she was going to refuse to go on stage.

But what do you know? When the music started and her teacher led them to the stage, she went ahead with it. She did 90% of all moves and for the exception of one little misstep, was as graceful and elegant as any prima ballerina. I was so proud and happy for her. She totally overcame her anxieties and conquered her stage fright. What a wonderful little girl I have. Not bad for a 3 year old, right?

At home.

Not happy.

Ok...feeling a lit bit better.

Not the greatest pic, but she's in the far right in the back.

Success!! A true ballerina always gets flowers.

Fashion Show!!

So, I finally convinced Sofia to do fashion show of her new goodies from our Gymboree spree. For anyone who cares, everything she is wearing is a 4T and fits her perfectly.

Love this dress! As you can tell so does she. It has the cutest little mermaid on the bottom left hand, but you can't see because she is all "Ta-da!!" and all.

OMG! Love this dress. So does she, but she thinks it's a strawberry. I'm like "No, it's watermelon". She says "You don't know what you are talking about." So sassy!

From Gymboree's Jungle Gem line. Its the cutest set, but by far Sofia's least favorite. What's up with that? Monkeys, flowers, funny phrases like "Silly Monkey"? What's not to like?

About to do a spin. Don't worry she's a pro...at falling off her bed!

So over it!

Gymboree stole my heart with Watermelons!

So I totally went crazy and bought Sofia a bunch of super fabulously cute clothes at Gymboree this weekend. They are having the most awesome sale...30% off EVERYTHING and I got to stack on a 20% off coupon to boot!!

Now don't ask me why a 3.5 year old who wears a uniform to school 5 days a week needs so much clothes because I'm going to give you some stupid type of answer. No really. I have no legitimate answer to a question like that so I'll probably try to distract you or something (OMG! Is that Edward Cullen over there sunbathing? He's sooo sparkly!).

It's just so cute dressing little girls. Sofia could honestly care less what you put on her. She has no fashion sense. So that's even better because you get to dress her how you want. This will not last because who knows how she will want to dress in the future. Probably, not in cute watermelon dresses...look how adorable is this?

Are you just dying over the cuteness???

I know you what you are thinking. Why can't they make a watermelon dress for adults? Well, quite frankly, adults shouldn't dress up as fruit. Stacy and Clinton would agree. But that's what makes dressing kids up so great. You can fulfill your fruit fashion fetish by projecting them on to your children. Isn't that great in a slightly psychotic way?

Anyways, I'll post some pics as soon Sofia let's me. She is sooo not into fashion shows.

Evil Saleswoman

I went shopping this weekend, just bought a couple of items at New York and Company. Some cute stuff for work and such. Look at these lovelies:

Love this top. It has boobie support!! Yeah...mommy boobies need those.

And this cardigan. It's a Carson pick. You know the dude from Queer Eye. LOL! look at the chicks pose...she looks like she is about to spear a bull...OLE!

Anyways, so I'm at the store with hubby and Sofia, and I have a couple of items that I want to try on. The sales person goes to open the door for me and takes my items and hangs them. She turns around take a look at me says " You know. I think I can find you a couple of better suited shirts for your pregnancy. Want me to get you a couple in your size to try on?"

Secretly, I wanted to simultaneously throttle the woman and then curl myself into a corner and cry, but I opted to play it cool and said "Thanks, but I just gave birth 3 months ago. You know it can take a while to lose all the weight."

Did I sound dignified?? You know...like as if it was Princess Diana telling some schlub to fuck off in a royal way?? I was going for that. Although, I really wanted go all Flavor of Love on her and yank some hair or something.

I must admit, I did take some pleasure in watching her squirm and hurry away. She deserves it. That bitch!!

In the end, I think I look pretty damn cute in my tops. Even Jose said so. He also said that the buttons looked like they were straining a bit (they weren't!), but you know Jose. Can't leave well enough alone.

Sofia said I looked like a princess, so I guess channeling the beautiful late Princess Diana worked!!

Sofia is a bit jealous of Logan. Ok, that's putting it mildly. She is soooo not taking this baby brother thing very well. She has always been a needy child, but lately, she has become insufferable. I love this little girl more than life, but I am so drained by how hard it has become to divide my attention between the two kids.

She literally picks the exact moment I'm about to feed the baby to decide she wants something to drink or eat. She has also decided that she cannot do anything by herself: she can't pee by herself, can't play by herself, can't watch TV by herself. If I tell her that I can't do it, she throws a ginormous fit. It's exhausting.

It is also very evident that she absolutely HATES her little brother. She told me so herself. Well, I take it by telling me that I should throw him in the garbage, that that was what she meant.

So, I went around asking my friends who have two or more kids, if their children exhibited similar behavior and the general consensus was NO. Apparently, every ones else's kids loved each other from moment one.

This is when I came to the realization that parents lie. Yes...they lie!!

I know I am not in the minority here. I just don't see why other parents can't come clean with it. I am asking you an honest question, you should give me an honest answer. Don't tell me your kids love each other, when the last time I saw them together they were throwing rocks at each other at the park.

Anyways, I'm making it my life's mission to be 100% honest about my children and all their imperfections. Maybe I'll write a book someday. It will be titled "Don't Have Kids if You Want to Remain Sane" .

Family Picture Share Time!

Yeah..for like the 100th time this month. Anyways, went to Portrait Innovations this weekend and got some shots of the kiddo's and me. I think they cam out super cute. What do you think?

Look at Logan. He's like, "WTH woman. You're in my face! I'm gonna punch you in the chin. Look my fist is closed and ready."

Look at my gordo! Isn't he scrumptious. He looks like a meringue.

I love candid shots! She was trying to back away from the photographer. I don't blame her. They are so intent on getting you to smile, it looks like they pop some speed before each session.

Sofia practicing the Heimlich Maneuver on Logan. Logan looking like he's reading to throw up his formula.


OMG!! My boobies are all over the place! I'm such a slutty mommy! Seriously, why couldn't the photographer tell me to get the girls in check?

Back to work!!

I return to work in less than a week. Well, let's take that statement with a grain of salt since I'm hoping that I still have a position in the company I work for when I return. I've been told there have been a lot of changes since I left and some that seriously affected my department.

Oh well!

You know, I've never been fired or layed off. The prospect is quite scary. I always thought that something like that would never happen to me, but I have said the same things in the past before and the unfortunate does happen.

You know what they scariest thing about being laid off? Moving back with my in-laws (Insert horrifying shriek). Ok, they are really nice people, but let's face it, no one wants to live with their parents...well, except for my friend Lety (Girl...you know have it good there! Can I move in with you?). I lived with my in-laws for three years and it was some of the most "ahem" interesting years of my life.

Take for example, the day my father in law decided that Raid was just as good and cheaper bug repellent that Off! Yeah, the scars from the chemical burns are probably still there.

Or that warm, humid day I walked into the house and saw huge termites sitting on the door frames. When I asked my FIL if those indeed were termites, he nodded and took out the Raid can. I quickly left the room. He can't be trusted holding a can of roach killer.

There was also the pleasant morning when my husbands car was stolen from the driveway. And of course, how can I quickly forget the bi-weekly helicopter patrols flashing their beams into our backyard. Gotta love those North Miami gangs!

Yes, those are definitely memorable, but they make me hope and pray that I don't lose my job because that would mean that the chances of moving back increase exponentially. I mean we could live here on my husbands salary and whatever I can collect from unemployment, but my husband is always wanting to move back into his parents house. No, he is not a mommas boy, but he likes the financial freedom not having to pay rent gives him. I love just the plain freedom. Clearly we are at a crossroads here.

You see, my husband loves to buy things. Lot's of things. Anything really. He picks up hobbies, like John Mayer picks up waitresses. Rent and utilities prevent him from buying those things. My love for the material things are far more outweighed by my love for not living with his parents (or mine for that matter). This has been a true test of our marriage since at the slightest mention of a possible lay off sends my husband packing his collectibles for his parents house. I prefer to try and find alternate solutions.

So, I head back to work worried and unsure. Not exactly the way I imagined it, but maybe I'm blowing things out of proportion. Who knows. Next week may not bring any more woes!

I Bought Pretty Stuff!!

Jose gave me a gift certificate for Sephora for our 4 year anniversary ( I know!!! Who would have thought we would last this long???), so I ordered some much needed make-up from Stila. Ladies, you know you have to buy some new beauty products when you are spitting on the mascara wand to make it moist again. So I ordered thisThe mascara and lip glaze are sample sizes, but everything is deluxe, which is cool. I also scored some awesome samples becuase I'm a Sephora Beauty Insider. I soo need a make over...badly!

I also bought me some new clothes because after I dumped all my maternity clothes, I had about 3 articles of clothing. I own more sweats that an avid jogger and that's just not going to fly anymore. I'm pretty sure I'm done having children, so I really need to focus on myself for a bit.

I've been pregnant for the last 4 years. I know I have let myself go. People...I was really cute and fashion forward when I was younger. I need to get back to that. My body is so not what it used to be and I know that even though I still love looking at clothes for myself, I would never buy anything because I wasn't where I wanted to be. That's why I poured all my efforts into dressing Sofia up real pretty. It's easy when you don't have to deal with your body issues, right?

Well, I've lost a couple pounds and even though I'm far from pre-pregnancy weight, I ordered me some new clothes from NY & Co. Got to go back to work in style, right? Hopefully, with this stupid economy, I still have a job when I get back.

My Gordo!!

Look at my Gordo!! Isn't he scrumptious?? I just want to eat him up sometimes.

Look at him! He's massive! I breed Vikings!

I can never capture how cute his smile is! Darn slow camera. Best I could do.

Buddha Belly!!

Love him!!

Me vs. the Scale

Why in the world is losing weight so hard? I'm pretty pissed off with my body right now. Not only is it thing big blob, but no matter how many calories I cut or how long I get on that treadmill or push the damn stroller down the block, the damn scale doesn't budge.

I know you must be thinking that I'm secretly hiding a stash of Twinkies (Yum...Twinkies. No...Focus!!) in my closet and eat them while the baby naps, but you are wrong...on both things. I don't have a secret stash and the baby does not nap, thus not allowing me to binge. I think the only thing I splurge on once or twice a week is a glass of wine or a beer. But still...does that really sabotage my diet to the point where it has not moved in over 2 weeks?? I need to check the calorie content on a Heineken.

Also, I must admit. I have a personal competition with this other woman who lives in my block who just recently had a baby too, but she is looking way more svelte than me. Actually, everything about her is too perfect. I think I'm jealous. She has zero tummy. Wears Lycra (HELLO!! what woman who just gave birth wears Lycra??) to work out. Her hair is slicked back into a flattering pony tail, which details each salon highlight..no frizz in sight. How can her hair not frizz? This is Miami. Humidity capital of the world.

Also, she pushes one of those uber expensive Quinny strollers. I know they are all the rage, but who the hell can afford a $600+ stroller during these tough economic times? And I don't care what people say, those damn stroller will not be able to hold a child past the age of 2.

Anyways, this woman looks perfect, with her perfect hair and perfect Lycra workout suit and perfect stroller. I bet her child is perfect too and doesn't cry 18 hours of the day like mine. I on the other hand, wear my husbands t-shirts (X-large...if you must know) and my maternity pants with my ratty sneakers. My hair is a big frizz ball and my son is howling in his pedestrian Graco travel system like he's Superman and I made him lie in some kryptonite.

Damn you, you stupid scale!!! Just move!!

SI Swim Suit Cover 2025

So I went to Gymboree this weekend with Sofia and let her pick out an outfit all by herself. She was so proud and let me take some pics of her. I start snapping some and then she gets into this pose..WTH??? Was she taking tips from the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit models??

Honestly...should I be worried?

Miami Metro Zoo...ROAR!!

We took Sofia to the zoo yesterday with my nephew and niece. Baby Logan stayed home since this was a special outing for Sofia. The day was beautiful and the temperature was perfect. However, if you WALK the entire zoo it's a 5 miles! Yeah...I was beat. Too bad Logan just didn't understand that and woke me up 2 times last night.

Those are pink flamingo's in the back. They were soo cute and the color is just fab! My SIL said they get their color from the shrimp they eat. I must google that!

At the Splash Pad. I love this action shot. She looks to athletic!

I have no idea who looks more spooked, me or Sofia. They are the cutest animals though. Those eyelashes!!

Yeah!! Metro Zoo brought back the camel rides. Remember those from back in the day? Sofia & Ela stunk all day, but she loved it.

And just for you pervs out there....no they didn't get it on. The orange tiger apparently needed more foreplay, but I have never seen so many people rush to take their camera's out when that white tiger jumped on the females back....PERVS!!!

Princess Sofia

In an effort to keep the dreaded jealousy or "j-lo", as Jose and I call it, from getting to Sofia, I spent a lot of time with her this weekend while my mom watched Baby Logan. She was soo cute wearing her Silvermist dress (from Tinkerbell) and posing like a Princess Fairy. Check them out:

Introducing Logan John

I'm really too tired to write, but here is some visual stimulation.

Check out my little dude's "goods"!!

Could someone have told me to put some make up on??

Proud grandma! But look at the forced smile on Sofia's face...she's not quite sure about this little bundle of joy.

Throwing out some gang signs...WEST COAST!!

Sleeping...but never for too long!

Adventures in Stupid Husband Land!

In this weeks episode, Jose once again makes insensitive comment to very pregnant wife:

Jose: That shirt is sooo unflattering on you! Don't you have anything else you can wear?

Me: Are you serious? I'm 9 months pregnant. NOTHING FITS!!! You honestly have no filter in that brain of yours?

Jose: I'm sorry. I have Adult ADHD. (no, seriously. he said that.)

Me: No. You have shit for brains.

Uhgg!! When will he learn? It's like dealing with the insensitive version of Rain Man.

Update on Hagrid

So some of you may remember my evil husband comparing me to some lady who resembled Hagrid at Publix a few weeks back, right?

First off, let me start by acknowledging that comparing some woman I do not know to Hagrid is indeed horrible. However, since I do not know her personally, I feel that my comparison is neither mean nor hypocritical.

Ok, so back to my story. Last week we were leaving Publix, when lo and behold Hagrid walks in.

Me: Jose. Look that's Hagrid. That is the woman you compared me to. Would you have sex with her?

Jose: That's not Hagrid. Your wrong.

Me: Nope. Her image is burned into retina. You see...now you know why I was so pissed at you. You would so not have sex with her.

Jose: Ok. Fine. I'm sorry. She is indeed Hagrid. I'm sorry. You really don't look a thing like her.

Vindicated!!! For weeks he swore up and down that I was exaggerating. That the woman at the supermarket was perfectly attractive and that I took it all the wrong way. Well, I'm still upset that he thought I looked like her (even though I know I don't), but it's nice to know that he admitted he was wrong all along.

Does that make it better? No. He's still kind of an asshole. I mean, what person in their right mind would compare their wife to Hagrid. I mean, even if she did look like Hagrid, you still got to make your wife believe that she looks like Heidi.

Moral of the story? Always, even if completely false, pock the hottest girl in the frozen food aisle and tell you wife she looks like her.

Questions I'm tired of answering

1- Where's the baby?

Uhmmm...in my uterus, fool! You think I normally look like this? If you say yes, then you're in for a serious beat down!

2- That sucks that your c-section got postponed. I bet you were a little upset.

Nah! Pregnancy is bliss. The constant worrying, heartburn, swelling of hand and feet. Endless doctors appts and NST's. I love being pregnant! I wish I had the same gestation period as an elephant!!!

3- So what are you going to do now?

What?? I don't know. Thought I'd take up skydiving. Maybe that will jumpstart labor.

4- What are you going to name the baby? or Why are you changing his name now?

Because I have a God-given right to change my mind. Names are not written in stone until his head comes out of my vagina....or until I'm harrassed endlessly by hospital staff to provide a name for their damn records.

5- Can we visit you at the hospital?

Sure, but you better bring me something to eat.

Is it wrong....

that we are considering changing baby names at the last minute??

All I'm going to say is that we are having name remorse. Not that I don't like Logan. I do. It's just that I can think of one more name that I truly love and my husband is warming up to it.

We'll see. I guess it will be one of the last minute decisions.

Pic of Baby Logan

Doesn't he look sweet? He's just taking a nap. He always very uncooperative. He keeps his hand over his face in a lot of the ultrasounds, so we are never able to get a good pic of him, but the tech and I pretty much sighed in unison when we saw the pic. Soooo cute!!

NST's Suck!!!

I hate doing NST's. Sadly, I'm supposed to go weekly from now till I give birth. Each and every time I ago it's such a fiasco. Take for example today. All day long, little Baby Logan was rockin' and rollin' in my stomach. The minute I lay down to do my NST, he decides to go into a super long sleep cycle. Of course, after 1 hour of a steady heartbeat, but no real movement, they have to send me to do an ultrasound. So, in the end, what was supposed to be a 30 minute shin-dig, turns into a 3 hour debacle. I guess I shouldn't complain. The bio-physical ultrasound turned out great.

On a sad note, I was upgraded from normal sized blood pressure cuff, to fat girl cuff. WAHHH!!!! I'm so depressed!! They were taking my blood pressure with the normal cuff and kept on getting really high numbers like 182/80, 170/80, 160/80. One of the nurses said those numbers didn't match. Although the top number was high, the bottom one was normal, so they decided to take out the ginormous cuff (at first I thought it was a blanket. I was like...no...I'm not cold. Oh, I see it's just the fat girl cuff) and my blood pressure went to 120/80.

People, I'm officially a walking whale!!!

Jose the Asshole!

So many of you know that I'm due to give birth in 3 weeks. People, I'm walking whale!! My maternity clothes do not fit me anymore. I stand up and I feel like my legs are going to give out because I'm so damn heavy. Let's not even go into the fact that everyone who hasn't seen me in weeks always seem to comment on how BIG I am and that I must be carrying around a 9-pounder. Yeah, that never makes me feel better.

So, with all these comments being thrown at me from friends and random strangers, I would expect more from my husband. Well, I should know better. On Sunday, we were at Publix and Jose comes running to me like he discovered the 8th continent of the world in the in the frozen food aisle:


Jose: Hurry, you have to see this! This woman looks exactly like you. She could be your twin.


Ok...not that I expected to see Heidi Klum buying a bag of Oreida fries or anything, but the woman he was referring to was..well...to put in quite frankly, completely unattractive. Yes, she was tall like me, but she kind of looked like a female version of Hagrid from Harry Potter...minus the beard:

Me: Uhmm...why do you think she looks like?

Jose: Well, because you both are BIG and have FRIZZY hair!

(Ok, when will men learn? Big and frizzy are not the kind of adjectives a woman wants to hear in the same sentence when referring to her looks. )

Me: You're an asshole!!

Jose: What? Why are you upset. It's not a big deal. It's just a simple comparison.

Me: Honestly? Would you have sex with that woman? Would you look at her and say..'She's hot!'"

Jose: No. But she's a mom. I don't find mom's attractive.

(Yes...people. He clearly is that dumb!)

Me: I'm a mom. Are you saying that I'm unattractive?

Jose: No. It's just that you are not that young anymore. It's ok to look like a mom.

Me: I'm 31!! I'm not old. ASSHOLE!!!

Anyways, I pretty much gave him the silent treatment for the rest of the day and I must admit, I did cry because it truly does suck know that your husband thinks you are unattractive.

He has been trying quite unsuccessfully these past few days to change the story. He says that the reason he mentioned our similarities was because we were dressed the same (blue jeans, black shirt), but that's not flying with me. I wish I could reenact the way he excitedly called me over to see this woman, but I am not gifted as a writer this way. It was almost giddy. And to say that you get this happy to show me a woman that's dressed like me, isn't going to make me think that was the only reason he thought we looked alike.

He's such an asshole!!

Disney Pictures...like FINALLY!!

So I've been promising Disney pics for over a month and I finally downloaded them and realized that the majority of them are with the family. Since not all of them want to be published in the world wide web, I had just a few to pic thru...but en joy anyways:

We have this same pose when we took Sofia to Disney for the first time. Oh man...does time fly

Dec. 2007

Dec. 2008

Oohhh...Joey Fatone. He looks good right? He was there with his family. Do you know that he saw my SIL snap this picture and turned his head right at that moment? That wasn't nice. I voted for him in Dancing with the Stars!!

Sofia going down the ICE slide. She had a ball. I am so proud of her. Do you know that she is the youngest out of all the kids and she was the only one brave enough to go on it?? That's my girl!!

Some of the ICE sculptures. I wish I could show you more, but family got in the way.

OK...one with the family. Bit you can barelu see them. Jose and Sofia are on the left. This ws actually a gingerbread house made of ice. Sooo cool!!

Ok...so if I get permission from my family to post their pictures. I will add more. There are some really cute one I was to show everyone.

JK Rowling is my big sister!!

Yeah. I wish. Do you think she would leave me some of her millions if that was true?? Probably not. According to MyHeritage.com, I resemble her the most. However, should I also be offended that I look like Kevin Costner and...David Schwimmer??? Hello, he was the nerdy guy from Friends. He played with a monkey and liked dinosaurs.