Princess Sofia

In an effort to keep the dreaded jealousy or "j-lo", as Jose and I call it, from getting to Sofia, I spent a lot of time with her this weekend while my mom watched Baby Logan. She was soo cute wearing her Silvermist dress (from Tinkerbell) and posing like a Princess Fairy. Check them out:

Introducing Logan John

I'm really too tired to write, but here is some visual stimulation.

Check out my little dude's "goods"!!

Could someone have told me to put some make up on??

Proud grandma! But look at the forced smile on Sofia's face...she's not quite sure about this little bundle of joy.

Throwing out some gang signs...WEST COAST!!

Sleeping...but never for too long!

Adventures in Stupid Husband Land!

In this weeks episode, Jose once again makes insensitive comment to very pregnant wife:

Jose: That shirt is sooo unflattering on you! Don't you have anything else you can wear?

Me: Are you serious? I'm 9 months pregnant. NOTHING FITS!!! You honestly have no filter in that brain of yours?

Jose: I'm sorry. I have Adult ADHD. (no, seriously. he said that.)

Me: No. You have shit for brains.

Uhgg!! When will he learn? It's like dealing with the insensitive version of Rain Man.

Update on Hagrid

So some of you may remember my evil husband comparing me to some lady who resembled Hagrid at Publix a few weeks back, right?

First off, let me start by acknowledging that comparing some woman I do not know to Hagrid is indeed horrible. However, since I do not know her personally, I feel that my comparison is neither mean nor hypocritical.

Ok, so back to my story. Last week we were leaving Publix, when lo and behold Hagrid walks in.

Me: Jose. Look that's Hagrid. That is the woman you compared me to. Would you have sex with her?

Jose: That's not Hagrid. Your wrong.

Me: Nope. Her image is burned into retina. You see...now you know why I was so pissed at you. You would so not have sex with her.

Jose: Ok. Fine. I'm sorry. She is indeed Hagrid. I'm sorry. You really don't look a thing like her.

Vindicated!!! For weeks he swore up and down that I was exaggerating. That the woman at the supermarket was perfectly attractive and that I took it all the wrong way. Well, I'm still upset that he thought I looked like her (even though I know I don't), but it's nice to know that he admitted he was wrong all along.

Does that make it better? No. He's still kind of an asshole. I mean, what person in their right mind would compare their wife to Hagrid. I mean, even if she did look like Hagrid, you still got to make your wife believe that she looks like Heidi.

Moral of the story? Always, even if completely false, pock the hottest girl in the frozen food aisle and tell you wife she looks like her.

Questions I'm tired of answering

1- Where's the baby?

Uhmmm...in my uterus, fool! You think I normally look like this? If you say yes, then you're in for a serious beat down!

2- That sucks that your c-section got postponed. I bet you were a little upset.

Nah! Pregnancy is bliss. The constant worrying, heartburn, swelling of hand and feet. Endless doctors appts and NST's. I love being pregnant! I wish I had the same gestation period as an elephant!!!

3- So what are you going to do now?

What?? I don't know. Thought I'd take up skydiving. Maybe that will jumpstart labor.

4- What are you going to name the baby? or Why are you changing his name now?

Because I have a God-given right to change my mind. Names are not written in stone until his head comes out of my vagina....or until I'm harrassed endlessly by hospital staff to provide a name for their damn records.

5- Can we visit you at the hospital?

Sure, but you better bring me something to eat.