Jose the Asshole!

So many of you know that I'm due to give birth in 3 weeks. People, I'm walking whale!! My maternity clothes do not fit me anymore. I stand up and I feel like my legs are going to give out because I'm so damn heavy. Let's not even go into the fact that everyone who hasn't seen me in weeks always seem to comment on how BIG I am and that I must be carrying around a 9-pounder. Yeah, that never makes me feel better.

So, with all these comments being thrown at me from friends and random strangers, I would expect more from my husband. Well, I should know better. On Sunday, we were at Publix and Jose comes running to me like he discovered the 8th continent of the world in the in the frozen food aisle:


Jose: Hurry, you have to see this! This woman looks exactly like you. She could be your twin.


Ok...not that I expected to see Heidi Klum buying a bag of Oreida fries or anything, but the woman he was referring to was..well...to put in quite frankly, completely unattractive. Yes, she was tall like me, but she kind of looked like a female version of Hagrid from Harry Potter...minus the beard:

Me: Uhmm...why do you think she looks like?

Jose: Well, because you both are BIG and have FRIZZY hair!

(Ok, when will men learn? Big and frizzy are not the kind of adjectives a woman wants to hear in the same sentence when referring to her looks. )

Me: You're an asshole!!

Jose: What? Why are you upset. It's not a big deal. It's just a simple comparison.

Me: Honestly? Would you have sex with that woman? Would you look at her and say..'She's hot!'"

Jose: No. But she's a mom. I don't find mom's attractive.

(Yes...people. He clearly is that dumb!)

Me: I'm a mom. Are you saying that I'm unattractive?

Jose: No. It's just that you are not that young anymore. It's ok to look like a mom.

Me: I'm 31!! I'm not old. ASSHOLE!!!

Anyways, I pretty much gave him the silent treatment for the rest of the day and I must admit, I did cry because it truly does suck know that your husband thinks you are unattractive.

He has been trying quite unsuccessfully these past few days to change the story. He says that the reason he mentioned our similarities was because we were dressed the same (blue jeans, black shirt), but that's not flying with me. I wish I could reenact the way he excitedly called me over to see this woman, but I am not gifted as a writer this way. It was almost giddy. And to say that you get this happy to show me a woman that's dressed like me, isn't going to make me think that was the only reason he thought we looked alike.

He's such an asshole!!